Where Your Dead Stars Shine
by little miss shepard
Summary: "I miss your smile and your laugh. I miss your voice, I miss worrying about you whenever you left the Normandy. I miss mocking the Alliance with you. I miss pushing your buttons. I miss annoying you with my Firefly references. I miss making funny faces at you. I miss watching you getting out of the cockpit." Takes place in ME2, during Shepard's death.


Author's Notes: Hi guys! Here I am again, with another Shoker fanfiction. A sad one this time. And yes, all my Shoker fanfiction have star-related titles because why not. Sorry again for my poor english! If you notice anything that sounds weird or something, tell me about it! Hope you'll enjoy it. Have fun, I know I had fun writing this!  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.

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**Where Your Dead Stars Shine**

Jeff Moreau gripped the top of the warm stone headstone and sighed. He knelt down, laid a bouquet of flowers at foot of the headstone and straightened up, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"Hey, Kate." He closed his eyes briefly and pictured her standing in front of him. He opened his eyes. "Sorry I haven't gone to see you sooner. I've been…busy."

He hung his head. "Oh, who am I kidding? You know I'm lying." He pressed his lips together tightly and looked away. Seeing the neat rows of graves sent a shiver up his spine, and he forced himself to look back at Kate's.

Suddenly feeling very tired, Jeff lowered himself to the ground and sat down on the grass. He reached out and touched the edge of the tombstone. "Me? How am I doing?" He laughed somewhat bitterly. "I'm getting by, I guess, but the Alliance won't let me fly anymore."

Without warning, tears sprang to his eyes. "I wish I could see you, Kate. Just for one last time," he whispered. "I wish I could've got spaced instead of you. I would've, in a heartbeat. You know that. I should have."

"I have nightmares. I see you die, again and again, in my sleep…" He shuddered involuntarily and shut his eyes. "Your eyes were open and you were staring blankly up at me. You were getting spaced and you were so, so pale. I started praying that very second. I told God or any other entities that rules our Universe, 'Just save her. I'll do anything.'"

A tear slid down his cheek, and he brushed it away furiously. "It didn't save you. If I wasn't so damn stupid, I could've saved you. And I didn't." He clenched his fists tightly, angrily, his knuckles turning white.

"You know how they say, 'You never really know what you have until it's gone'? This is a perfect example of that. For months, we've done this little dance. We'd argue, bicker, piss each other off… But you know I never meant all those things I said, right? I think you knew how deeply I cared for you. I know you felt the same way about me. But we kept skirting around it, ignoring it – putting off and convincing ourselves that we could deal with all of this another time. Telling ourselves that it wasn't like the other was going anywhere.  
But you went away. In a blink of an eye, you were gone. Damn it, Kate – if only you had stayed alive for a few more seconds. I could've told you, right then and there, how much I loved you. Katherine Shepard, you are my everything – always have, always will be. You will never know how much you meant to me. Dammit, I love you. It shouldn't be this way. You should be with me, alive, at this very moment, telling me that you love me too."

More tears ran down his cheek, as he was unable to stop them any longer. "I miss you," he continued, his voice shaking. "I miss your smile and your laugh. I miss your voice, I miss worrying about you whenever you left the Normandy. I miss mocking the Alliance with you. I miss pushing your buttons. I miss annoying you with my Firefly references. I miss making funny faces at you. I miss watching you getting out of the cockpit. I miss you so fucking much, Kate."

He fell silent, his chest heaving with emotion and tears still streaming silently down his cheeks. After a while he spoke up.

"You do know that if it would bring you back, I would do anything? Including deleting the picture I took the last time we were on a perm, the one with the Elkor stripper? But I didn't. I actually had it printed. It's always folded in my pocket so I can see you whenever I need to. It reminds me of how you used to be – beautiful and so very alive."

He traced her name engraved on the headstone. "If only I had one last chance, Katie." Several tears rolled down his cheeks and dropped onto the stone, wetting it. "If only I could've told you how much I loved you."

"I'm never going to forget you, you know that? Not even if I tried. Someone as amazing, as beautiful as you can never be forgotten." He got up and brushed the grass off his jeans. He bent down, pressed a kiss onto the cold stone of the headstone and said, "I love you, Katherine Shepard. Rest in peace."

He turned around, and with one last look over his shoulder, began to walk away. And he swore that he heard Shepard say, "I love you too, Joker."

**The End**

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_I don't know, I always assumed Shepard had been burried in ME2, even through the coffin was empty. To have some kind of closure, I guess._

_Reviews keep your authors busy writing. Take care of your authors._


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